While I understand your hesitation, given I was in much the same place as you for some time... it seems you are creating a vicious cycle.

If you don't try because you lack confidence and you're out of practice, then you're effectively eliminating your chance to gain confidence through practice.

[Dohalim's going to keep hold of her hands, to prevent any future instances of turtling.]

And you also have yet to name this fellow. The more information you provide, the better I am able to help you. Who is this mystery man, and what about him do you find appealing?